9/21/2005

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I distain the Otter. Yeah, I said it! I can’t stand that furry bellied beast. As a kid I must admit I was delighted at the Point Defiance zoo (what! what! Point Defiance zoo represent) to see Otters frolic and play. But that’s before I joined the work force and could see the Otters for what they real are, brazen assholes.


But these lazy ass some-what aquatic creatures are no good sods. All they do is lay around on their backs eating fish and sliding down miniature slides.

Did you know in Britain that these asses almost went extinct from not being killed but from starving to death because Minks escaped from a fur farm and where out classing the Otter. Yeah, the Otter in all his/her fat grace couldn’t cut it against the Mink. The Mink was a better hunter, a better habitat builder, and probably a better kisser than the Otter.
What was there left to do? Go into show business.
From everything I read on the internet the Otter hates man. I think it was Aristotle who once said "The otter will bite a man and it is said that whenever it bites it will never leave go until it hears a bone crack”. Does that sound like fun to you? No. No is the answer.
So why does the Otter do what it does? Why does it entertain the hearts of humans world wide…because the Otter is our loaf cousin that sleeps on the couch…it hates us but needs us because its too busy smoking pot and watching pornography to go out and find a job.
I say no more OTTER!
I have met my enemy and he kind of looks like a weasel hyphen cutesMcGee. Yeah I’m talking to you OTTER! So get on the internet already. I mean first learn to read and type. But then get on the internet OTTER! I dare you. I triple dare you. Because next time I’m at the zoo I’m walking past that water tank with the stank eye on you, bitch! And I might not even stick around for the fish feeding.

Your enemy,
Jason

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